Love is Dumb
June 5, 2016 § Leave a comment
I’m in the depths of a relationship, and I’m deep enough that a lot of meaningless things are beginning to matter all of a sudden. I’ve been here before, this is nothing new.
Here’s a good example: Tonight I found out that Larissa has always been ticklish.
See how stupid this is? Why would something so meaningless ever bother me? The answer: love.
Early on I prided myself on being the first person to successfully tickle her.One of the first nights we were together (probably around the same time we both began to realize that this was something more than just a couple casual hook ups) I started tickling her. She insisted she wasn’t ticklish. And not in that playful, coy sort of way. But rather adamantly, she made it clear that no one has ever made her laugh from tickling her.
As I type this I realize how stupid this sounds, but whatever. i made this blog to lay out my stupid thoughts. So here they are.
Then tonight she let it slip that she “used to be ticklish” but found a way to control it. I immediately told her that she lied to me. Which oddly (and characteristically) she denied.
I immediately felt a sense of betrayal. In the heat of the moment, it was almost as if she had lied about me taking her virginity (which…for the record…obviously is not the case…thank god).
Love makes us care about things that don’t matter, and it’s easy to see how minor disagreements can build up to the point that they end long term relationships and break marriages.
The trouble is, I’m not sure how I’d react to actual betrayal. I’ve never experienced it, at least that I know of. But if I get this worked up about things that don’t matter, imagine how I’d feel about the things that do.