The Power Of Instinct
January 1, 2016 § Leave a comment
The last time I checked in I was sure fear was motivating my decisions. I was sure that I was a coward, running away from commitment once again.
I’ve never been happier to be wrong. It took me a long time to figure this out, but I’ve finally realized that I needed time to be on my own and do my own thing. Oddly, I’ve been having more sex since I’ve been single than I was while in a relationship. And in the process I’ve met a number of really cool girls. They’re all people that I don’t mind hanging out with…and having sex with.
I’ve found being alone to be a really relaxing situation. On nights where I want to meet someone for drinks or have sex, I can arrange that. And then if I want to spend the night watching Always Sunny and smoking alone I can do that too. It’s given me the ability to appreciate my own independence while also helping me put myself out there and interact with new people.
I will admit that I’ve been meeting a lot of new people. And I’m trying to keep my gallivanting around town under control. But it’s early on and it’s hard to do that. Especially when I’ve yet to have a bad experience.
So as it turns out, I wasn’t running away from my previous relationships out of fear of commitment. It was just the result of years of hopping from one relationship to another in an attempt to fill a void that only my own self-reliance and development could fill. It was an instinctual desire, pulling me out of a situation I shouldn’t have been in.
Not to mention…it’s fun as hell. I’m sure I won’t be able to keep up my current pace, but I could see myself living some version of this lifestyle for the remainder of my 20’s. Ideally I’d run into my soulmate at some point in my late 20’s and settle down but at this point I’m just enjoying now.