The Preciousness of Uncertainty
March 1, 2015 § Leave a comment
I can’t sleep. So I’m writing.
It’s 4 AM. I’m sitting on the living room couch wearing nothing but my boxers and a throw blanket that I haphazardly tossed over my back. I’m smoking a joint of this weird mystery herb that Katie was nice enough to prepare earlier tonight before she fell asleep. So if you ever read this, Katie, thanks.
As I was laying awake in bed, I had a sudden moment of clarity. All of a sudden I sort of came to peace, if only for a fleeting minute or so, with a lot of the things that have been troubling me lately.
See, things begin to make a lot more sense if you come to terms with the fact that we’re all in this together. Humans, that is. Every one of us has our own battles; our own demons. Every one has had nights when we fell asleep crying. When we hurt someone we love. Every one of us been let down by someone we trusted, and every one of us has let down someone who trusted in us.
Sure, some of us have experienced more scarring instances of this than others. But the point is that we, as a species, all experience these things in our lifetime. It’s part of what makes us human. And in that simple fact we should be able to find a reassuring sense of comfort.
When reflecting inwardly, we tend sensationalize our own problems and marginalize our success. Self-deprecation isn’t some psychological ailment that only affects the depressed and down-trodden. In fact, it’s a part of human nature. Almost everyone has a tendency to magnify their own shortcomings and focus on the prosperity of others. What makes matters even worse is that there is also a seemingly universal tendency to mask our own shortcomings to the outside world and showcase our good fortune.
Which clearly leads to a viscous cycle. We see everyone else’s success and compare it to our own necessarily distorted view of our own self worth.
Fuck that. Every one, and I mean fucking everyone, has experienced pain. They’ve experienced loss. They’ve experienced some form of heartache. The bottom line is that at some point in their life, no matter how successful or perfect they seem, they’ve felt shitty.
Keep that in mind, and all of a sudden your own problems feel much less painful. At the very least, you’ll feel a sense of comfort in knowing that we’re all in this together. We, as a species, are a cosmic fucking miracle. Millennia of evolution and suffering have bequeathed us with the ultimate double edged sword: a mind capable of solving some of the world’s most daunting problems, while simultaneously being capable of experiencing all of the emotions which could likely one day be the motivation for our own demise as a race.
So rather than let these emotions completely control our lives, let’s take solace in the fact that every one of us is just sort of bumping through this world blindly like a drunken fool trying to find his way to the bathroom in a dark hallway. None of us know what in the fuck we’re doing here. We were born with ability to question our purpose for being on earth but without the tools to find the answer. Either accept and embrace that fact, or a spend a lifetime trying to do the impossible.